Horribly macabre little story here, I’ll try to be brief and concise as possible… Things took a turn for the worse during a client consult this afternoon when a quite nerdy man presented pictures of a “boyfriend” asking of his fidelity and whereabouts and the odds of their future together. The client appeared to be in his early 50s with an extremely sheltered life living with his mother who had just recently died and now was suddenly on his own and looking for more action. First and most obviously I broke the news to him that the love of his life was a gigolo who was playing him. He replied adamantly “How do you know that’s true?” My response: “Did you have to give him money all the time?” “Well yes, but…” “Next question…” He then relayed what for him was a tragic story that the most valuable baby Jesus statue from his personal icon collection had been mysteriously stolen, asking who did it. Answer: “your boyfriend thinking he could pawn it but it was refused by dealers as not of any market value.” “Then what did he do with it?” Answer: “inserted it into one of his client’s rectums and laughed menacingly at you.” Silence…dead silence…sound of clock ticking… “Next question?…” (“Reach out touch faith…”)
It doesn’t usually go this way. Usually it’s a lot more deep and profound. Psychic intel consults with Monica. Inquiries at firstname.lastname@example.org.